“ Go and find a job. Go and find a flat. Find somebody else. Put them in the flat. Make them stay. Get a toaster. Go to work. Get on the bus. Look at your boss. Say “fuck”! Sit down. Pick up the thing. Go blank. Scream internally and go home again. Listen to the radio. Turn to the other person. Think; “why, why did this happen?”. Go to bed. Lie awake, at night. Get up. Feel groggy. Put the things on. Your clothes, whatever they are called. Go out the door. In to work. Same thing. Same people again. It’s real. It is happening to you. Go home again! Sit. Radio. Dinner, mmm. Gardening. GARDENING. GARDENING! GARDENING! Death. ”
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I don’t want this. I can make a change. Fuck this dying shit. I wanna live.
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